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About New York City

But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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I tells ya, behind those quaint corners, there is magic—ha, ha, magic madam! The locals, they have hearts like broken glass, but the sparkles twinkle, oh yesss, like hope. And the streets, like Elm St. and Church Lane, they carry whispers of the old ones, dark and haunting, "It’s all inside you." You never knew such things, yesss, precious, but wise you become when listen – listen to Gollum's tales, hmm?

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