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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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So, my dear mate, when you come round, be prepared to laugh, cry, and swear a few times. Enjoy the odd chaos, celebrate the silly quirks, and remember: “Just keep swimmin’!” Even though I’m callin’ you out, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

‘Festival Del Corrido’ is making its way to Lemoore