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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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A student who is a victim of sexual assault should call (Campus Security) or (Philadelphia Police Department). When a report of a sexual assault is made.

I’m not sure if I should exaggerate, but holler – the humor, the digs, the raw beauty of every lamppost on Cross Street truly hit ya when you wander around. Sometimes I end up laughin’ at the absurdity of it all; chaos wrapped in the soft glow of streetlamps and starlit nights.

Tariffs worry Jefferson County business owner