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About Dallas

So, I’m searchin’, right? Web’s fulla weird X posts ‘bout it—guys braggin’, others warnin’. One dude said he found a gal who sang sea shanties while—well, y’know. Surprised me so much I spat me pineapple juice! Oh, and *The Turin Horse* pops in me head again: “They’re lost, abandoned.” Kinda sad, huh? Makes me wonder—do they choose this? Gets me all weepy like a soggy sponge.

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First off, you gotta check out Main Street – it's the legendary artery of our town. I'm talkin’ about the MAIN street, with its epic barbershops, tiny cafes, and that old clock tower right next to the city hall. I remember massaging a guy right in front of the clock tower once – said he felt like a new man. Totally true, by the way.

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