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About Philadelphia

Arr matey, ye be askin’ ol’ Captain Jack ‘bout findin’ a prossie, eh? Slurred wit, savvy? So ‘ere’s me yarn—stumblin’ through ports, lookin’ fer a lass to warm me bones. ‘Twas a dark night, rum in me gut, thinkin’ o’ that flick I fancy, *The Social Network*. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” aye? Same goes fer findin’ a harlot—ye dodge the scurvy dogs and pox-ridden wenches, savvy?

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I was strollin' down Riverbend Road (yep, that's right, by the river... the Alafia River snaking through like a lazy serpent) and I got mad – mad at how much beauty can hide in somethin’ so simple. Well, maybe I got mad ‘cause I remembered Bush’s words – “Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me twice, well, we’re really in trouble!” – oh man, that mix-up always cracks me up!

13-year-old girl dies in crash on U.S. 41