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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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I tell ya, even our old courthouse on Cedar Blvd has been wild. Built in 1892, it's seen more drama than any TV soap. Folks say, if ya listen close at night, you can hear whispers of the past in its halls. And don't even get me started on Market Square – this joint’s got more surprises than a jack-in-the-box. Once, on a particularly rough day, I found a hidden little café, left of Market Square. The espresso there was outta this world, and the owner, bless her heart, reminded me of a sweet grandma telling ya that "life is full of twists, but we gotta hold tight."

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