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About Philadelphia

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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So, downtown’s on Riverbend St.—yeah, Riverbend, like twisting dreams. It’s edgy, kinda dark at times, like dreams from Inception. The skyline? Meh. No fireworks, just concrete and neon—like your mind on a bender. Looping back and forth, like, “You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger.”

Flash flood warning issued for multiple counties in western Pa.