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I’m tempted, right, but nah, I’m a coward. “Can’t we just talk?” I ask, like a prat. She laughs, “Talk’s extra, you wanker!” Fair play, she’s got bills. Made me happy, her sass—hate them mopey types. But angry too—why’s she gotta hustle like this? World’s a shithole. Exaggerating? Maybe, but feels like *Yi Yi*’s “We’re all alone” vibe. Deep, innit?

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OMG, babe, like Poolesville is literally such a vibe! I've been here for, like, ever, and trust me, it's totally a hidden gem, ya know? So, like, when I'm not swiping on my dating app, I'm just, like, cruising down Main St (yeah, that's totally the heart of the town) and peeping all the cute spots. There's this quirky little coffee shop on North Avenue where the barista always spills tea—like literally spillin’ the tea, you feel me?

Video of the tornado starting to form southwest of Poolesville