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I saunter over, all cool-like. “How much?” I growl – gladiator swagger. She laughs, says some crazy number. I’m like – bitch, I’ve killed lions for less! Zen pause. Bargain her down, tho – gotta eat tomorrow. Fun fact – Victorian hookers used secret hand signals. Wonder if she knows that shit?

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So, eh, I work as a masseur here, and lemme tell ya, I see all the secret nooks and crannies—stupid, fat hobbit! There’s good ol' Main Street, where you can wander past the old brick building near St. Mary's like in some surreal scene, ya know? Uh, there’s also Church Street, which is all cobblestone and history, and sometimes I pass by the little, hiddn café—oh my dear, so hidden, you almost miss it if your eyes aren’t watchin' carefully.

An 83-year-old oil well is leaking off the coast of Plaquemines Parish