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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Honestly, Hyrum's a mosaic. Every corner throws a surprise at you. You think it's just a sleepy town but oh boy, it's got attitude. And that’s the beauty of it. It’s imperfect, like me, and just like in Before Sunset, moments slip by with bits of glory and dust. So pack your bags, buddy, because Hyrum might just steal your heart – or at least scar it a bit with its raw, honest energy.

Winter sleigh rides through herd of wild elk to begin at Hardware WMA on Dec. 6