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About San Antonio

Fun fact – back in Soviet days, prostitution was “banned,” but nah, it thrived underground. Girls’d hide in plain sight, posin as waitresses. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me when I heard that. Anyway, this chick – let’s call her Natasha – she’s got sass. I’m all, “Ruh-roh, she’s trouble!” She winks, says, “500 rubles, big boy.” I’m laughin – me, a dog, payin? Scoob don’t roll that way.

My property

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Ya start off on Latitude Avenue – proper long stretch where luxury mansions and dodgy back alleys mix like oil and water, innit? Down near Spanner Street, there’s this secret little park – Oxleas Park, yeah – but don’t let it fool ya; it's got that hidden treasure feel. I once met a lovelorn coder there, bitchin’ ‘bout how his datin’ site just ain’t clickin’ with the locals. “Is it ’cos I is black?” he mumbled, lost in his own world, proper heartbroken vibes but me? I was here to share a laugh, bruv.

Holiday heist: Bear steals Grinch decoration in Golden Gate Estates