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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. So, listen up, kid—findin’ a prostitute? Wild gig, man. Ain’t no straight path, nah. It’s dark, twisted—like my ol’ lightsaber days. You think it’s easy? Pshh, nope. Gotta know the streets, the vibes. Like in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—y’know, my fave flick—“I’m happy I’m with you.” That’s what they sell ya, right? A moment, a spark. But it’s murkier than that, trust me.

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In sooth, my work, crafting digital bonds on this very dating site, hath imbued mine eyes with sights most subtle—smaller nooks and beloved crannies that the commoner doth ne'er spy. Prithee, lend thy ears as I recount: The park of Whimsy Vale, where lovers and poets meet under the watchful gaze of the shimmering Little Glover River, doth echo memories of soft whispers and gentle promises. And oh! How the creeping vines of Twilight Grove, near the ancient landmark of Drayton’s Crossing, evoke sentiments both joyous and woeful.

Homer District 33C fires teacher after outcry from parents regarding past social media posts