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So I sashay over, all Marilyn-like, breathy an’ bold, “Hiya, sugar, got time?” She laughs—deep, husky—says, “For you, blondie, always.” I’m tickled pink! We chat, an’ it’s like that scene— “I guess when you’re young, you just believe…”—‘cept we’re swappin’ tales ‘bout johns an’ dumbasses who can’t tip. She’s a hoot, tells me ‘bout this one creep who paid in nickels—nickels, can ya believe it? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I snort.

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Hey, listen up, cuz this is the real deal on Coon-Rapids, alright? Now, I ain't always one for endless city chatter, but lemme tell ya – this place got character. Yeah, I’m a family psychologist here, right? And trust me, I see stuff, like the little cracks in ya foundation that ya never even notice.

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