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About Newcastle

Little tip, though – watch the corners near the docks. Cops swarm there like flies on gabagool. One time, I almost got pinched – had to peel out, tires screamin’, chick laughin’ her ass off in the rearview. Fuckin’ hilarious now, but I was sweatin’ bullets then! Surprised me how quick she flipped – one sec she’s all business, next she’s cacklin’ like a hyena.

The Oldham 'red light district' on the doorstep of local school

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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s this old lady, Mrs. Thompson, from down the road. She’s got a bag full of biscuits. “I brought you lads some treats!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta cut hair and eat biscuits?” But who can say no to free biscuits? Not me!

Joe Garner bags brace as Oldham go into play-offs with win over downed Ebbsfleet