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About Newcastle

Now, if yer huntin’ one, be smart, yeah? Don’t be a daft sod stumblin’ into trouble. Check the vibe—too shady, and “You shall not pass!” I’d bellow at meself. Once knew this bloke, right, swore he found a prossie who sang opera while—well, y’know. Total myth, I reckon, but I was jealous as fuck! Imagine that, beltin’ out *La Traviata* mid-shag. Probs never happened, but it’s a cracker of a tale.

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So, I grab my guitar, head out, and boom! First surprise of the day: the market on the main street. It’s like a mini carnival every Saturday. I’m strollin’ past the stalls, smellin’ all the fresh bread and pastries. I mean, who doesn’t love a good sausage roll, right? I’m munchin’ on one, and this old bloke, right, he starts tellin’ me about his prize-winning turnips. Like, mate, turnips? Really? But I nod along, tryin’ to be polite.

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