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What got me? The smell – fags, cheap perfume, desperation. Made me sad, yeah, but also – bit of a thrill. “The world’s a gleaner’s paradise,” Varda’d say, and I’m living it! Nearly tripped over a bin, mind – clumsy sod – but I’m laughing, cos it’s proper gritty. Not like them suits in the office, all “strategic alignment” this, “core competencies” that. Nah, this is raw, mate.

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Oh and btw, the local cafe on Chester Road – small joint, amazing bean brew. I had a coffee there once, sat there on purpose, deep in thought... then my brain kinda exploded with insight like in that movie, "I drink my coffee Black, like my heart." Crazy introspection, you feel me?

Royal town residents oppose padel courts over swearing and 'gunshot-like' racket