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Anyways, I’m chattin’ her up, casual like, coz she’s got this vibe—tough, y’know? Like she’s seen it all. “What’s the worst punter you’ve had?” I ask. She goes, “This toff, thought he’s a king, lasted two seconds.” I cackle—pathetic! Reminds me of that film bit, “The truth is always there.” Truth is, most blokes are rubbish, ain’t they? Surprised me how she shrugged it off, tho—proper queen, her.

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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, and I see this old lady on the street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but cars are zoomin’ by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!” Finally, I rush over and help her. She’s super grateful, gives me this weird look like I’m some kinda hero. I’m just a dude with a snake spell, chill out!

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