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Still, gotta admit, when it’s good, it’s freaky good. Sparks fly, not just down there—whole body’s buzzin’. Made me happy once, then angry—why’s this so damn rare? Most places botch it, sloppy hands, fake moans—ugh, spare me. Exaggeratin’ here, but one time, swear, chick’s phone rang mid-rub—ruined it! “Erase me from your mind,” I’m thinkin’, like Joel in the movie, but nah, she’s still yappin’.

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So, I sneak out during lunch. I’m sprinting down the street, and I see this crowd gathered. People are laughing, taking pics. I get there, and sure enough, there’s this fluffy orange cat, just chilling on the roof like it owns the place. I’m cracking up.

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