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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Like, seriously? In the middle of my epic performance? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, everyone started clappin’ and singin’ acapella. It was kinda magical, not gonna lie. We were all just vibin’ in the dark, like a scene from a movie.

China arrests former security chief Zhou Yongkang