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Lightbulb! Funniest ting—once caught dis john, pants down, stuck in me elevator wid a whore! I’m like, “Vhat is dis, amateur hour?!” Hit da emergency stop, let ‘em sweat—ha! Dey begged me, “Gru, don’t tell!” I didn’t, but I smirked all day. Whore winked at me, like, “We cool, big guy?” Respect, ya know?

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Massive new dams remind China of human price of ‘tofu constructions’