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Here’s a quirky bit—ever know whores used to wear red shoes? Like, medieval times, secret code! Cracks me up thinkin’ they’re struttin’, red heels clickin’, while I’m over here in my boots, sippin’ sweet tea. Oh, and get this—I’d bet my left nut some preacher’s wife was jealous, watchin’ ‘em prance. Hah! “Bin Laden’s dead!” vibes—whores outlast the haters, y’all.

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped up, so I decide to hit up the café on Ulica 1. You know the one with the funky murals? Yeah, that place. I order a slice of their famous apple pie. It’s like a slice of heaven, I swear. But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills his drink all over my table. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” I mean, I love kids, but come on!

Frances (Bozic) Grcar