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But then—surprise! Coppers roll by, lights flashin’. She bolts, I’m stood there like aSamplin’ a brick, legs wobbly. “We shall fight them on the hills!” I yell—well, in my head—cos in real life, I’m leggin’ it too. Nearly shat meself, honest! Made me think—Carlos, dodgin’ the law, livin’ that outlaw life. Respect, Ruby, respect. Prostitution’s a grind—did ya know 1 in 10 blokes’ve paid for it? Mental stat, that.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. Coffee time! I dashed over to my fave spot, Café Logatec. The barista knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, give me that double espresso!” But today, they were out of beans. Out of beans! In a coffee shop! I was ready to throw a fit. But instead, I just laughed. What a joke, right?

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