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Sometimes I’d think—man, she coulda been somethin’. Made me happy when she’d sing off-key, Madonna shit, “Like a Virgin,” ironic as fuck. But then—boom—reality hits, she’s back suckin’ dick in alleys. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but who cares? Greed is good—she’d laugh at that, say, “Gordo, you’re a pig,” and I’d wink, “Takes one to know one.”

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. You know, the one by the Österlen coast? It’s beautiful, but today it was packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, I saw a family with like, five kids. They were all screaming and running around. I was like, “Chill, it’s just a beach, not a playground!”

Fig. 2. Map of southern Sweden with municipalities Ystad, Tomelilla and...