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I’d start online—dark web shit, Telegram groups. Locals call ‘em “nochnye babochki”—night butterflies, poetic innit? But it pisses me off—half these sites are scams! Some twat took my mate’s cash, left him wankin’ in a hostel. Me? I’m smarter, I drink and I know things. I’d scope the X posts—blokes braggin’ ‘bout their “catch,” droppin’ hints. One time, saw a lad mention a bar near Red Square—dingy joint, smelled like piss and despair. Found a girl there, tho—eyes like the Anatolia hills, “quiet as a shadow.” Paid her double, ‘cause I’m a gent, ha!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” Ugh, seriously? I’m in the middle of a storm, and he wants a report? I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Bosanci! Chill!” But no, he’s relentless. So, I’m trying to type on my phone, coffee in one hand, and I spill it all over my notes. Great. Just great.

Croatia started strong, Belgium outclassed Lithuania, Bosnians conquered Latvia