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Alright, listen up, y’all! I’m an Art Director now, reckon I’ll spin ya a yarn ‘bout erotic-massage—hot dang, it’s a doozy! Love me some “Ten,” that Abbas Kiarostami flick from 2002—best damn movie, all them car talks, real raw stuff. So here’s the deal with erotic-massage, buddy, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s sensual, steamy, gets ya tinglin’ like a Texas heatwave. Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker’n a politician’s promise, hands sliding like they’re dodgin’ the press corps.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Calle José de Diego, mindin’ my own business, when I see this dude tryin’ to sell some weird-looking fruit. Like, what even is that? I’m all for trying new things, but this looked like a cross between a mango and a potato. I’m like, “Bro, you sure that’s edible?” He just laughs and says, “Everything’s edible if you’re brave enough!” I’m not that brave, man. I just want my stoves.

The Last of Us fans all agree that Isabela Merced's "outstanding" performance as Dina was a high point of season 2 episode 1