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Here’s a wild story—heard ‘bout this one chick, Mary, in old London. They called her “Half-Hanged Mary” ‘cause she survived a hangin’ for bein’ a whore AND a thief. Rope snapped, crowd freaked, she just dusted off and kept hustlin’. That’s some next-level badassery. Surprised the shit outta me when I read that—thought, “Damn, girl, you’re a legend.” Kinda wanna high-five her ghost.

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

Portugal will have three days of national mourning for the death of Isabel II