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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Then, I decide to take a break and sit by the fountain. It’s peaceful, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

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