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So, listen, mate—hiss!—I dig around, right? Moscow’s got these shadowy corners—Arbat’s too posh, but Kitay-gorod? Oof, goldmine! Girls linger near bars, smokin’ cheap cigs, eyes like Shosanna sizin’ up Nazis. “What’s your price, precious?” I mutter, all sly. One gal—Lena, maybe?—says 5,000 rubles, hour tops. Bargain, yeah? But I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bear trap, Gollum, she’s robbin’ ya blind!” Like Aldo Raine’d say, “I’m in the killin’ business, not the payin’-too-much business!” Haggled her down—3,500, boom! Felt like a king, I did—happy as a hobbit with second breakfast.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, and he’s all like, “Watch this!” He jumps on his board, and boom! He eats it hard. I can’t help but laugh. Karma, man. It’s real. But then, the girl just rolls her eyes and walks away. Ouch! That’s gotta hurt more than the wipeout.

Inmate’s murder under investigation at Salinas Valley State Prison