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About Katowice

So, findin’ a prossie—tricky, tricky! Me, Gollum, sees what normies don’t, yesss. Streets crawl with ‘em sometimes, sneaky-like. Once saw one near the docks—fishy smell, not just the water, ha! She winked, I hissed—didn’t trust her, nooo. “Show me the money!” she’d prob’ly say, like Belfort’s crew, greedy bastards. Made me mad, yesss—why so bold? But happy too—world’s wild, innit?

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Next up, a lady walks in. She’s all about that “I just came from the spa” vibe. You know the type. She sits down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be easy.” But then she starts talking about her cat, Miauśka. I’m like, “Cool, cool, but I’m here to cut hair, not listen to cat stories.” But she’s relentless. “Miauśka loves the snow in Wisła!” I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m in a hurry!”

‘The Hooligans Were the Club’ (Published 2019)