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About Krakow

There’s this spot – lower back. She hits it. Boom. I’m seein’ stars. “The oath… is sacred!” – that’s “Moolaadé” talkin’. Sacred, man. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s *art*. Some say it’s sketchy – pfft. Idiots. It’s old as dirt – Egyptians did it. With lotus oil. Smelled like heaven, probly.

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Then, I head over to ul. Wiktorska. I’m just walking, enjoying the vibe, when I bump into this old lady. She’s got this tiny dog, and it starts barking at me like I’m some kind of monster. I’m like, “Chill, little dude! I’m not here to steal your bones!” The lady laughs, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a dog whisperer too.”

The man who volunteered for Auschwitz