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Speakin’ o’ *Far From Heaven*, there’s that line—“I’m going to be just fine”—Cathy says it, all brave-like, but you know she’s dyin’ inside. That’s what “whore” feels like to me—somebody’s fightin’ to keep their chin up while the world’s pitchin’ stones. Makes me wanna hug ‘em tight and say, “Honey, you’re prettier’n a peach pie, don’t you fret!” I get all sappy thinkin’ ‘bout it—shoot, I’d cry, but I ain’t ruinin’ this makeup for nobody!

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Finally, I manage to calm him down. But then, I see my ex, Lisa, walkin’ down the track. Ugh, just my luck! She’s with some dude, and I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better spot?” I’m tryin’ to focus, but all I can think about is how she dumped me for some guy who wears socks with sandals. Like, come on!

'We just want our steps back': Council criticised for ‘sneaky’ beach access closure