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About New Plymouth

Oh, and get this—surprised me silly—some prossies in Amsterdam, yeah, they take card now! Contactless! Tap and go, like buyin’ a sarnie at Pret! I’m sat there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “This is the future!”—straight outta *Syndromes*, that vibe, all modern but weirdly timeless. “The past is a strange place,” as the film says—spot on, cos prostitution’s ancient but bang up to date!

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I’m standing there, fuming. I could’ve been fixing Dave’s shoes! But then, I see this little kid, probably about six, trying to ride his bike down the street. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna eat dirt!” And then, bam! He falls right in front of me. I rush over, help him up, and he’s all smiles. “Thanks, mister!” And just like that, my mood lifts. Kids, man. They’re like little bundles of joy.

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