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Exaggeratin’? Sure—mate, he’s dodgin’ bullets from the missus! “She’s gonna kill me!” he squeals. Sarcasm? Pfft, “Oh, poor lad, just wanted cuddles.” Bollocks! Sports psyche’s messy—stress, adrenaline, dumb choices. Find a prostitute? More like lose yer career, eh? Gollum knows—seen it, smelt it, wretched fools! “We’re close now, precious!”—to ruin, that is. Nasty, funny, pathetic—love it, hate it, true!
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But then, I see a bunch of ducks. And I’m like, “Oh great, now I’m gonna get attacked by ducks.” I mean, have you seen those things? They’re like little feathered ninjas. But they just waddle by, and I’m like, “Phew, dodged a bullet there.”
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