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But here’s the deal – ya gotta be sharp. Some pimp’ll rob ya blind. Happened to my mate, Sasha. Idiot paid upfront, got a black eye instead. Laughed my ass off – dumbass! Little known fact? Moscow’s got “secret menus.” Ask the right guy, you’ll find em anywhere – hotels, back alleys, even near the Kremlin. Surprised me first time. Thought, “Hell, even my guards prolly know!”

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Around noon, I’m finally catching a break. I grab a quick bite at the local snackbar on de Veldstraat. Best frikandel ever! Seriously, if you haven’t tried it, you’re missing out. I’m munching away, thinking life’s good, when my phone rings again. It’s a guy on de Houtstraat. He’s locked himself outta his car. I’m like, “Dude, did you forget your keys or what?” He’s all panicky, and I’m just trying not to laugh.

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