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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.
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But then, this guy walks in. Total Karen vibes. He’s like, “Your bread is too crusty!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s bread, not a pillow!” I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to keep it real here. I tell him, “If you want soft, go buy a cake!” He storms out, and I’m just shaking my head. Some people, man.
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