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One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The fire alarm goes off. Seriously? I’m like, “Not again!” We all pile outside, standing in the parking lot. It’s cold, and I’m regretting my choice of jacket. I’m shivering, and all I can think is, “This day just keeps getting better.”