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My precious! Me, a shepherd, eh? Raspy little voice creepin’ out—talkin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeh? Slimy, slippery topic, innit? Saw one once, struttin’ down the street, all fancy-like, made me eyes pop! Reminds me o’ that film, *The Headless Woman*—y’know, Lucrecia Martel, 2008? Me fave! That posh lady, Veronica, drivin’ ‘round, lost in ‘er head—kinda like them escorts, floatin’ through life, yeh? “I don’t remember anything,” she says—hah! Bet them escorts say that after a wild night, too!

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I hop on my bike, zooming down the Kerkstraat. The wind’s in my hair, and I’m feelin’ kinda good. But then I hit a pothole. Ugh! My coffee nearly spills. I’m cursing like a sailor. Klundert’s streets are a mess, man. They need to fix this place up. Anyway, I finally get to the scene. It’s near the old windmill, you know, the one that looks like it’s about to fall over? Classic Klundert.

Ann KLUNDERT