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But ugh, the hypocrisy—gets me steamed! These high-and-mighty types judgin, then sneakin in the back door. “I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Royal’d say, and I’m like—yep, that’s every john caught with his pants down! Surprised me once, readin bout this brothel in Nevada—still legal there, can ya believe? They got tax filings cleaner than my grandma’s church bingo. Who knew hookers could be so legit? I’m over here gigglin—imagine me, Marilyn, totterin in on heels, tryna balance their books. “Let’s not get caught with our pants down,” I’d purr, all sultry-like.

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, all decked out in his cycling gear. He’s like, “Yo, gimme a double shot!” I’m like, “Sure, buddy, but you might wanna slow down. You’re gonna be bouncing off the walls!” He laughs, but I’m serious. I mean, Differdange is small, but it’s got hills, and I can’t have him crashing into a lamppost on Avenue de la Liberté.

Kristian Horsburgh to head up 1535° in Differdange