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So, I’m pissed—why’s this even a thing? These billionaires, sittin’ on mountains of dough, could fix this crap! Instead, we got folks out here hustlin’, tryna eat, tryna live. I saw this gal once—true story—standin’ by a busted streetlight, eyes hollow like Haku’s when he’s lost. Made me mad as hell! “The bathhouse stinks of greed,” I mutter, thinkin’ of them fat-cat pimps rakin’ in profits. Billionaires should not exist! They’re Yubaba, stealin’ souls for a buck!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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