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About Saitama

Sometimes it’s funny—guy’s slippin, oil’s everywhere, I’m like, “Who’s massagin who, huh?” Sarcasm’s my jam—keeps it real. Timbuktu’s got that quiet power—“Life bends like reeds.” Sexual-massage bends me too—looser than a limp noodle! Pro tip—tell ‘em to hit that spot behind yer knees. Weird, but whoa—shivers, darlin!

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First stop? The local market. It’s a maze of colors and sounds. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I mean, c’mon, I need that caffeine fix! I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to get my day started.