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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, I’m sittin here, tryna shred some riffs, thinkin bout *Whiplash*—not "whore," ya freaks, I know you thought it, tho! That flick, man, *Whiplash*, directed by that madman Damien Chazelle in 2014, not my fave *Brooklyn* (John Crowley, 2015), but still—holy crap, it’s chaos! Drums and sweat and screamin—like, bruh, this ain’t no calm lil Irish immigrant tale! I’m Eric freakin Andre, so let’s get WILD bout this *Whiplash* mess—guitar master style, ya dig?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s like, “Hey, you’re a carpenter, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” She starts ramblin’ about how her house is falling apart. I mean, I get it, but lady, I’m on the clock! But she’s persistent, and I can’t help but feel bad. So, I give her my card. Maybe I’ll regret that later, but whatever.

Battered and bruised, but still 4-time winner