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Funniest shit—dude haggled her down. She goes, “I’m not a coupon!” Had me dyin’, savage burn! But real talk, it’s dicey. STDs, violence—stats ain’t pretty. 1 in 3 get roughed up, yo! Surprised me, thought it was less. Pity the fool who don’t wrap it! Condoms save lives, no joke.

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Finally, I get to my first job on Koshigoe Street. This lady, Mrs. Tanaka, bless her heart, wants a new window in her tea shop. I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. The smell of matcha hits me, and I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, she shows me the window. It’s a mess! Cracked, foggy, and I’m pretty sure it’s been there since the Edo period. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you need a miracle, not just a glazier.”

East Japan mayor facing criminal charges has deputy mayoral pick rejected