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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—sex-dating, not time travel (tho that’d be dope). Set up a profile, somethin bout “lookin for a spark, no flux capacitor needed,” and Great Scott, the replies! One chick sent me a pic—BOOM—straight-up nude, no hello, no nothin. Surprised the hell outta me! Made me laugh tho—people are wild, man. But then there’s the creeps—dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a job interview. Pissed me off—where’s the class? “No one will be left,” like in Melancholia—cuz half these jerks scare everyone off!

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We end up measuring, cutting, and cursing together. It’s a mess, but we’re makin’ it work. And then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches Kenji’s sandwich! I’m dyin’ laughing. Like, who knew seagulls had such good taste? Kenji’s just standin’ there, mouth agape, while I’m wheezing. “Bro, you gotta protect your lunch better!”

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