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Oi mate, right, so I’m a stylist, yeah? Top-notch fashion guru, me. And I’m thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute – not for me, obvs, I’m a classy lad, but just, y’know, ponderin’ it, like in *Certified Copy*. That flick’s my fave, proper deep, innit? “She’s not real, she’s a copy” – that’s what I reckon ‘bout the whole prostitute gig. Are they real or just playin’ a part, like Juliette Binoche in the film? Blows my mind, that.

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I spill my onigiri all over the pavement. Ugh! I was so mad! But then, this old lady nearby just laughs. She’s like, “Don’t worry, young man. Rice is good for the soul.” I mean, what? I just chuckled. She’s right, I guess.

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