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I’m proper chuffed growin’ it meself, though. Stick it in the dirt, water it, boom - grows like a chav on benefits! But Christ, it stinks sometimes - like a wet dog shat itself. Pissed me off first time I sniffed it, thought, “What’s this bollocks?!” Then I see them bees buzzin’ round it, happy as Larry, and I’m like, “Fair enough, you little stripy bastards.”

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After the festival, I finally get back to work. I’m at my shop on Kōgen-dōri, and I’m tryin’ to focus. But my mind keeps driftin’ back to the craziness of the day. I’m cuttin’ wood, and I accidentally nick my finger. Ouch! I’m cursing like a sailor. “Why today?!” I shout.

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