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Little known fact – back in the 80s, Vegas hookers had a secret code, flashin rings to signal cops or johns. Crazy, right? Gets me all fired up thinkin bout it – history’s nuts! Anyway, this one time, I’m chattin up this gal, and she’s all sass, like, “What you got, stripes?” I’m laughin, thinkin, “This gal’s got balls!” Made me happy as hell – love me some attitude. But then – ugh – some creep rolls up, tryin to lowball her, and I’m pissed! “You don’t talk to her like that, dipshit!” I yell, feelin like Anton Chigurh bout to flip a coin for his ass.

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In Texas, Kevin Ellis has won a Republican primary runoff for a seat on the State Board of Education. The race was closely watched across the country.

As the event wraps up, I’m chatting with some locals. They’re telling me about the Obama Castle ruins and how it’s a must-see. I’m like, “I gotta check that out!” I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle story?

Sasha Obama's blue manicure is the ultimate Spring nail inspo