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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Finally, I get to the prison, and it’s already chaos. I walk in, and the guards are all lookin’ at me like I’m the Grim Reaper. Turns out, one of the inmates tried to escape. Can you believe that? In Katori-shi, of all places! I mean, we’re not exactly known for our prison breaks.

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