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What gets me happy? When they trip in them daft stilettos—priceless! Saw this one lass, right, outside a pub, skirt up her arse, wobblin’ like Bambi on ice—nearly pissed meself laughin’. Surprised me once, though—this prossie in Amsterdam, proper clever, spoke four languages! Four! I can barely do English, and I’m meant to be a bleedin’ comic. Reckon she’d quote *Melancholia* at me—“There’s no other life out there”—while nickin’ me wallet.
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First stop? The corner shop on Passage Fort. I needed my coffee fix. But guess what? No coffee! Just my luck, right? I was like, “Y’all serious?!” I mean, how can a day start without coffee? I was already feelin’ the anger bubbling up.
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