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You wanna find one? Web’s your wormhole now. Escorts online, mate—classy or dodgy, pick yer poison. X posts spill tea—search “working girls,” boom. But careful—cops lurk, entropy’s a bitch. Me, I’d chat em up, ask their orbit. What’s their deal? Ever met one who loved Sorrentino flicks? Bet they’d laugh—“Too posh, Steve!” Haha, cosmic giggle there.

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I’m all ears, but then my stomach growls. I’m like, “Dude, I gotta eat.” So I head to this little trattoria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. The food there is bomb! I order some pasta, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a soap opera. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard.

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