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Oh, and the sarcasm—god, I love it. This one time, another “lady of the night” struts by, all sass. I’m like, “Work it, queen, I’d tip ya but I’m broke!” She laughs, flips me off—friendship made. Total *Yi Yi* moment—“Is it all just a dream?” Nah, it’s real, and it’s messy! I’m obsessed with their chaos—it’s better than reality TV. Whores don’t care bout your rules, they’re out here dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank, livin’ loud. Respect!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Via Roma. You know, the one with the killer pastries? I ordered a cornetto and a cappuccino. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He always knows my order. But today? He forgot the sugar. Like, c’mon, Marco! I need my sugar fix! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the view of Lake Maggiore. It’s stunning, man. I mean, who can stay mad with that view?